Sunday, September 13, 2015

Confession: I wear Spanx

Spanx ~*attempting*~ to be sexy

Here's my deepest darkest confession: I Wear Spanx. Okay, okay not so dark but really people need to start getting honest about these bad boys. 

I had a friend who was pretty upset because there was a rumor going around that she wore spanx out at night (like what a white girl problem to have, I know). A random girl told our friend, "Jane looks like she has a great body but I hear she wears spanx, so it's kind of like lying." Okay. no. Wearing a bombshell bra that gives you bubbies twice the size could be interpreted as a lie- although more power to you for maintaining that. 

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Spanx on the other hand, they smooth you out. They make clothes fit a little nicer. And hey, they make me feel more confident that I'm not going to flash anyone while I'm dancing on the bar. They certainly do NOT make you look two sizes smaller and when you wear them you can't magically wear smaller clothes. You don't just disappear in em'.

But it really upset Jane that people thought she was faking her perfectly toned bod. (Like wtf bikini pics don't lie). So here I am, standing on my proverbial bar counter top and letting everyone know- I wear spanx and I'm proud dangit! 

Also message to the Spanx company, can you make swimwear? 

That'd be awesome, k thanx bi. 

If you want a giggle I suggest this vid:

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