Sunday, September 18, 2016

3 Ways to Make Girlfriends in Your New City

"Here's some things I did when I moved to a brand new town to start law school and after a month still felt totally friendless."

No one tells you how hard it can be to make friends after college. Finding besties in undergrad seemed so effortless that once you enter into the ~*real world*~ you wonder why finding fellow wine buddies is so hard. Well it's difficult because after college everyone really gets into their own bubble- including yourself. Whether it's trying to get a promotion, tackling graduate work, or starting a family- people just seems so consumed in their own stuff to really care to put themselves out there to make friends. It just stops being a priority. Here's some things I did when I moved to a brand new town to start law school and after a month still felt totally friendless.

1.) Be Open
This is going to sounds like obvious advice but it's crucial to making new friends. When placed in a new environment a lot of people get a little closed off. Sometimes being nervous about a new place can just make you seem uninterested. So take a deep breath, smile, and relax your stance. Just seeming like a more breezy person might make you less intimidating to others who might be just as nervous as you. 

When trying to make friends at first just go with whatever you're invited to. You might not necessarily see a friendship with the person who asked you, but it never hurts to put yourself out there. You might end up having a great time and meeting other people you click with even better. 

2.) Don't Talk Badly
Girls tend to gossip. Sometimes it feels that's how we bond- by sharing stories of the week and how we feel about things. DON'T DO THIS. When your first meeting new people you want to stay totally neutral. If someone engages you in some kind of juicy tidbit just nod along, say nothing, and maybe even try and change the topic. Why? You never know who you're talking to and who it will get back to. It never hurts to be genuinely nice and as an adult you should be trying to rise above that stuff.

3.) Wine Night
So by the third week of law school I still didn't feel like I had any female friends. I facebooked a group of friends in Texas if they had any advice and they asked me if I tried doing a wine night. Well how the heck am I going to do a wine night if I don't really know anyone? Just go for it they said. So the next day I asked about 10 girls from my law school who I could see myself being friends with and asked them to my apartment for a Wine and Cheese Hour after class. They later on said how random it was that I approached them but 10 months later it's been a great way for girls in the school to meet each other that wouldn't have otherwise. Oh, and now I have friends from it! Total solid advice from my Texas friends.

So the take away from this? Just try. You might even feel stupid at times but staying in your apartment and watching the Bachelor alone isn't going to make friends magically appear on your doorstep with a bottle of wine to accompany that trashy TV. You just gotta put a little work in it.

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